When I am 30 I will NOT

1.) Kill myself.

2.) Spend hundreds of dollars on quack anti-aging products.

3.) Unilaterally decide to become a homeowner.

4.) Buy one of those Reborn dolls and pretend that it's a real child.

5.) Make fun of people who have those Reborn dolls and pretend that it's a real child.

6.) Complain that I am too old to stay out late.

7) Tell people younger than me that if they don't like the music I like, it's because they weren't around long enough to really "get" it.

8) Quit my job just because.

9.) Wear shawls.

10.) Start pretending that I know anything about or even like jazz.

--New York, NY